Spoon Theory Explained: What It Means and How to Use It in Daily Life
If you’ve ever felt like simple tasks take more out of you than other people seem to notice, you’re not alone. Many neurodivergent people, and those living with chronic illness and/or mental health struggles, use a metaphor called Spoon Theory to explain how their energy works day to day.
Where Spoon Theory Came From
Spoon Theory was created by Christine Miserandino, who lives with lupus. When a friend asked what it’s like to manage energy with a chronic illness, she grabbed a bunch of spoons from a café table and explained that each spoon represented a unit of energy she had for the day.
Every task, getting dressed, making breakfast, commuting, costs spoons. And when you live with health challenges, you often start the day with fewer spoons than others. Once you run out, you can’t keep going, no matter how much you want to.
How Spoons Work in Daily Life
Spoons are a way of measuring how much energy something takes from you.
Every activity costs something, but how much depends on your individual circumstances and the kind of day you’re having. What may feel like a “small” task one day (like brushing your teeth or sending a message) might take several spoons on another.
Factors like sensory load, anxiety, pain, overstimulation, or lack of sleep can all increase how many spoons a task requires.
Over time, you’ll get a sense of how much regular tasks cost you on any given day, and you’ll have more compassion for the days when you’re not able to complete everything you hoped to.
Checking In with Your Spoons
Only you can truly know how many spoons you have to work with each day. Some mornings you might wake up with a full drawer; other days, it can feel like you already started in debt. You may even find yourself “borrowing” spoons from tomorrow. Which would mean pushing through today only to feel completely spent the next.
If you’re not sure how many spoons you have, mapping out your day or week can help. Look at your plans, appointments, or to-dos, and notice how they feel in your body when you think about them. Heavy? Light? Neutral? That feeling often tells you how many spoons a task might cost.
You might start with a rough number in mind. It might be 12 spoons on a steadier day, or 5 on a low one. Then assign the spoon “costs” as you go. There’s no need to be exact. It’s simply a way of becoming more aware of where your energy naturally goes.
Different parts of one task can use very different amounts of energy. Cooking dinner might sound like a single activity, but deciding what to make, chopping ingredients, and cleaning up may each have separate spoon costs. This awareness helps you break big tasks into smaller pieces, delegate parts that drain you most, or simplify when your spoons are low.
The goal isn’t to calculate your spoons perfectly, but to develop a sense of capacity so you can plan your days to protect your well-being. Some days that might mean doing less because needs must.
Can You Get Spoons Back?
A common question is: once spoons are gone, are they gone for good?
The honest answer is: it depends on your body. For some people, particularly those living with chronic illnesses such as ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, or autoimmune conditions, spoons may not return easily within the same day. In these cases, pushing past your limit can lead to what’s often called a crash, where your body needs much longer to recover.
For others, spoons can be gradually replenished through rest, nourishment, hydration, or taking sensory breaks. The biggest spoon top-up usually comes from sleep, but smaller practices during the day can give you back enough spoons to keep going.
Because energy levels are unpredictable, pacing can be a helpful way to manage your spoons more sustainably. Pacing means noticing your limits and spreading your energy across the day or week instead of using it all at once.
Some ways to practise pacing include:
Breaking tasks into smaller steps rather than doing them all at once.
Taking regular rest breaks before you feel exhausted.
Alternating between energy-draining and restorative activities.
Leaving buffer time between commitments instead of back-to-back plans.
Tracking your patterns to learn what tends to trigger crashes or fatigue.
When you plan for recovery time rather than pushing through, you often end up with more steady energy over time, even if it feels slower in the moment.
The goal isn’t to squeeze more productivity from limited energy, but to honour your capacity today so your future self has a few spoons left too.
Why Spoon Theory Matters
Spoon Theory is about self-understanding in a world that often expects everyone to function the same way.
Many neurodivergent and chronically ill people end up internalising the idea that they should be able to “push through”, “stay consistent”, or “just try harder”. We’re surrounded by advice written for neurotypical brains. These productivity hacks, five-step morning routines, and quick-fix motivation tips that assume a steady, predictable supply of energy.
But for neurodivergent folk, chronic illness warriors, and those managing mental health conditions, energy doesn’t work that way. It fluctuates. It responds to sensory load, emotional labour, overstimulation, executive function demands, and even the weight of being “on” all day.
Spoon Theory offers language and validation for that reality. Instead of blaming yourself when you can’t meet the day’s expectations, it helps you differentiate between capability and capacity.
Using Spoon Theory can help you:
Set boundaries without guilt (“I don’t have enough spoons for that today.”)
Plan realistically, so you’re not ending the day with zero spoons left for yourself.
Communicate your needs in relationships, workplaces, or study environments.
Understand your patterns, so you have a better idea about what drains you, what replenishes you, and what over-extension feels like before it becomes burnout.
At its heart, Spoon Theory invites you to replace beating yourself up with self-care. It’s not a tool to fix yourself; think of it as a mirror to understand yourself better, and to move through the world with more care.
If you’d like to explore this idea further, read my blog on Capability vs. Capacity. It expands on how to honour your limits without questioning your worth.
Getting Support
Remember: you don’t have to manage your spoons alone. Ask for help with the parts that cost you the most spoons. That might be the decision-making, the phone calls, the prep work.
Share the concept with family, friends, or colleagues so they understand that your energy is limited. Use practical supports where you can: grocery deliveries, assistive tech, reminders, body-doubling, or occupational therapy.
And most importantly, allow yourself to rest without guilt. Rest is how you protect your future spoons.
Closing Reflection
You don’t need to explain or justify how many spoons you have. I’m not encouraging you to track every ounce of energy, but to honour what’s true for you today. You don’t have to get it perfect. Simply noticing your capacity is already an act of self-compassion.
Before you move on to the next thing, take a moment to pause and reflect:
How many spoons do I have right now? What’s my energy like? Mentally, physically, emotionally?
What’s one thing I can do to protect my remaining spoons today (e.g., say no, ask for help, simplify a plan, or rest before I crash)?
Which task could I edit or share? Is there a part that feels heavier (e.g., decision-making or prep) that someone else could help with?
What restores my spoons best? A nap? Quiet time? Music? Stretching? Warm food? Add one of those before bed tonight.
Notice what drains you, what replenishes you, and what happens when you start leaving a spoon or two just for yourself.
